On the leadership skills of people named Jack

[rj_anderson]

Fandom turns up in the oddest places. The Thinklings blog has a LOST thread, and I was too weak to resist, so I read the comments and laughed until my sides hurt. Now you must share my pain. Courtesy of a commenter named De:

"Jack [Shephard] is on the short list of folks I would follow into Mordor"

Well, I’m not sure you would have made it "into Mordor". My guess is between his frantic yelling on the fringes of the Emin Muil (bringing every orc in the district down on him) and his cocky, dismissive ways with Sam and Gollum, the half-life of the Fellowship of the Ring would have been about 20 minutes.

[...]

"He also said that he would follow Jack Bauer not only into Mordor but straight up to Sauron, because Jack would probably torture him."

Jack Bauer would have killed Sauron with his thighs.

Then he would have melted the ring by staring at it.

*snickers*

Comments

[greenhornet.livejournal.com]

snicker!

[fpb.livejournal.com]

Heh heh heh...

[kalquessa.livejournal.com]

So true about Jack Shephard, alas.

Sounds like Jack Bauer is trying to give Chuck Norris some competition.

[shellebelle93.livejournal.com]

Yup, it's true. Jack Bauer seems to kill a person with his thighs once a season, at least.

:)

[wahlee-98.livejournal.com]

Jack Bauer would kill Sauron with his thighs, but only after he knocks him in the Eye with his gun. Just for the heckofit. ;)

[bexm30.livejournal.com]

Speaking of names, I swear I heard on "House" that Omar Epp's character is named Eric Foreman, which was Topher Grace's character on "the 70's Show".

chavelaque

[(Anonymous)]

I'd follow Jack Bristow into Mordor anytime. He probably couldn't quite do the thighs, but give him a big gun and tell him Sauron captured Sydney and you'd be there in ten minutes.

Re: chavelaque

[rj-anderson.livejournal.com]

And then he would shoot Sauron in the face.

[infiniteviking]

*chortle*

Jack Sparrow... would try to sneak the party into Mordor by disguising everyone as pirates. Eventually they would join the Corsairs and take the back way toward the Mountain of Fire, mingling with the Haradrim and Southron mercenaries. A rabid Oliphaunt attack would separate the party; Frodo and Sam would proceed toward the Mountain as written, Pippin and Merry would single-handedly defeat the corsairs and bring the black ships back to Minas Tirith, and Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas, and Jack would be captured, taken to Barad-Dur, conveniently escape, and pwn Sauron with their very high collective pwn factor. At which point Gandalf would show up with crowns and things. Yay.

[lizbee.livejournal.com]

Jack Harkness would try to sell the Ring to some passing Orcs, but it would actually be a ring he got from a bubblegum machine. He keeps the real Ring in reserve to impress prospective sexual partners. If he even ended up in Mordor, it would be more through luck than planning.