The Anonymous Cruelty Meme

[rj_anderson]

When I was thirteen, I had two close friends who lived just up the street from me, and the three of us hung around together all the time. Somewhere along the way -- and I don't know who started it or why -- we got into the habit of saying outrageous things to each other, and then adding hastily, "I was only joking."

At first, this was actually true most of the time. But then the remarks started getting more pointed, and more cruel, and more plausible. Soon they amounted to direct personal attacks. But the moment anyone started to get upset, it all ended quickly with "I was only joking."

Basically, in the end, it was nothing more than a cheap excuse to voice our petty resentments about each other. Because we were too immature and too cowardly to do it any other way. And it was horrible to be on the receiving end of one of these remarks, because you were always left wondering whether the person really meant it the way it sounded, or not... in the end it was almost easier to pretend it was a joke, than to accept that people you thought were your friends really thought so little of you.

Does this sound familiar to anyone?

Comments

[seemag.livejournal.com]

Yup, sounds entirely too true to me. I've seen this happen so often in real life and I've seen people get seriously wounded. "I was just joking" and/or "I didn't mean it, you know that, right?" don't really amount to much. It's amazing how long those comments remain with you long after they've been said.

[(Anonymous)]

Yup...just about all my friends...my mother to me. Pretty much everyone I knew. Gee, and I wonder why I have self-esteem issues at thirty-three... Michelle "shellebelle"