Is Conversion Coersion?

[rj_anderson]

Got this link from wittingshire a couple of weeks ago, and thought it an essay worth recommending:

When Others Pray For Your Conversion

To take the ideas in that article a little further -- my brother recently remarked that evangelical Christianity, if it is truly evangelical, is not a fearsome enemy of non-believers but rather the best friend that (say) a secular liberal person could wish for. Because, he said, a Biblical approach to evangelism demands that the Christian maintain an open and respectful dialogue with non-believers -- and never treat them as a lost cause, or as the enemy.

The good news about Jesus Christ cannot be imposed or enforced, either on individuals or on nations; it has to be sincerely understood and received by individuals of their own free will and in response to the Holy Spirit of God working in their conscience -- things that no external influence can compel. Therefore any Christian who claims to be "winning souls" by means of threats or bullying tactics, making false promises or offering bribes, withholding sticky facts or suppressing honest questions, or otherwise distorting the Biblical message is disobeying Christ's teachings and example. Rather, the Christian is to share the message of salvation through Christ freely, but always to do so "with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience," as the apostle Peter wrote.

The danger that many secular liberals and other non-Christians fear arises when people who claim to be Christians behave in un-Christlike ways, attempting to force legalistic standards of righteousness on those who do not believe -- but a Christian who truly follows Christ's example and teaching will not side with such people, but rather against them.

Comments

[anywherebeyond.livejournal.com]

As a Buddhist, I'll humbly and gratefully accept any prayers offered; Buddha and Jesus walk hand in hand. But thank you for the rest of the message, because boy howdy, I do get annoyed at the counterintuitive folks who can't stay out of my face.

I'm not offended by an invitation to church, sometimes I even go to church as a guest- but for example, the neighbor who would trap me by my mailbox EVERY SINGLE DAY to witness? (I had to start waiting until after dark to sneak out and get my mail- I am so not kidding!) I guarantee you, she wasn't winning any converts at my house.

So, uh, basically- word, and thank you for sharing the article!

[rj-anderson.livejournal.com]

Oh dear on your mailbox story. I don't know whether to laugh or cry!

Seriously, your neighbour has probably been taught, either directly or indirectly, that if she really loves the Lord she will talk about Him at every possible opportunity, whether the people she's trying to witness to have shown any interest or not. A lot of Christians have that impression, that being an evangelist means ignoring manners and your own better judgment as to what is an appropriate time to speak, and just barging up to people willy-nilly. Because they've all heard stories about the great evangelist so-and-so who witnessed to this total stranger on a plane and the guy got "saved" right then and there... and it would be terrible to have a clear chance to share the message with somebody and not take it, right?

Like so many things, that perception's partly true -- I mean, we all tend to talk excitedly about the things that matter to us, so in that sense it's natural for Christians to want to tell people about their faith and it's more than a little odd if they never say anything. But unlike your neighbour and so many other well-meaning Christians (including myself when I was younger -- which is why these kinds of stories make me cringe extra hard), Jesus and the apostles never chased after people and tried to badger them into believing. They talked to people who were open to talking about spiritual matters, they gave the message, and they moved on -- trusting that if people were interested, they would come after them to find out more.

I think if more Christians followed the example of the early church instead of succumbing to sales-pitch tactics, there would be more genuine disciples of Christ and a lot fewer disgruntled apostates.

[alawston.livejournal.com]

This talk of mailboxes and sales-pitch tactics does lead me to wonder if there's a 'no unsolicited evangelising' opt-out box that an atheist like me can tick...

[rose-in-shadow.livejournal.com]

Agreed. It's a tough lesson to learn. Though my church growing up never overtly told us to go forth and convert all heathens by browbeating them into conversion, there was almost a undercurrent of expectation that you should be ready to do so if the opportune moment arrived.

Thankfully, the current pastor--even before I moved--was guiding the church toward a more Christ-like approach.

It's a prickly balance sometimes though; no denying that.

[rj-anderson.livejournal.com]

Though my church growing up never overtly told us to go forth and convert all heathens by browbeating them into conversion, there was almost a undercurrent of expectation that you should be ready to do so if the opportune moment arrived.

Yes, exactly. Few people actually come out and SAY it, but the message comes through just the same.

And you're right that it's a delicate balance. There's a lot of unfortunate tromping around with evangelistic hob-nailed boots, but on the other hand it's all too easy to say you're being subtle and sensitive by not speaking directly about what you believe, when you're really just being cowardly or indifferent.

[m-stiefvater.livejournal.com]

I agree whole-heartedly! I think it's because it's easy, no matter what you believe, to shove those beliefs down people's throats. It's harder to stay balanced and sensitive to how other people live their lives, and to show them by example what you believe -- instead of by pamphlets.

[rj-anderson.livejournal.com]

*hastily hides large stack of Jack Chick tracts, all painstakingly addressed to my entire f-list*

Actually, I shouldn't even joke about that. Jack Chick comics creep me out. Even as a kid, I got this crawling feeling of evil from reading them, and I shudder whenever I see one.

[superwench83.livejournal.com]

When I was a waitress, I had someone leave me a Jack Chick tract instead of a tip. Yeah, that's how to convert souls.

[m-stiefvater.livejournal.com]

Is it a good thing that I've never heard of them?

[rj-anderson.livejournal.com]

I would say yes. They're definitely a case of "Get off my side, you're making my side look bad." *shudders*

[sartorias.livejournal.com]

Yes. That.

[rj-anderson.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[sboman.livejournal.com]

I agree with all that's been said. When/if I share my religious beliefs with someone it is motivated out of true love for that person, not as another notch on my convert belt. If someone shares their beliefs with me for the same reason, I am touched, even though I may not agree with them. It is the ones who preach willy-nilly without thought to the individual that are not motivated by Christ-like love nor are they being a good example of his teachings. I'm sure Christ has wept at some of the things done in his name.

[sboman.livejournal.com]

So good I had to say it twice!

[rj-anderson.livejournal.com]

S'okay, I've fixed it. :)

[rj-anderson.livejournal.com]

Beautifully said. Thanks for your input.

[superwench83.livejournal.com]

We always called people like that "Bible beaters." And really, these people are having the opposite of their intended effect. They come across as so offensive that it puts people off of Christianity rather than drawing them toward it.

Also, in my experience, this isn't just limited to Christians talking to non-Christians, but to each other. I wish I had a nickel for every time I was told I was going to Hell because I was Catholic. Or because I couldn't speak in tongues. Or because I wore a crucifix, and how could I be stupid enough to wear a symbol of the dead Christ, now that he's been raised from the dead. Or....

[mary-j-59.livejournal.com]

Yes! The same things have happened to me, often.

But what I wanted to say was that that was truly a good essay. Prayer, as Madeleine L'Engle and Ellis Peters both said in their novels, is an act of love. If you are truly loving and concerned for your neighbor, how can that be offensive?

But telling someone they will be damned because they do not believe exactly what you believe is not loving them.

[olmue.livejournal.com]

Well said!

[dichroic.livejournal.com]

Yup. Problem is in my experience the bullies outnumber the respectful Christians - no, actually that's not true. It *seems* like they do because the repectful people are, by definition, respectful. So they talk when you want to talk, and share their own beliefs without browbeating others and so on, as polite people do. The others, the bullies, seem more numerous because they're so much louder and more annoying, and that applies in politics and other public circumstances even more than private conversations.

The result is kind of sad: I get to thinking how awful Christians are, and have to shake myself by the scruff of the neck and consciously remind myself of how unfair that characterization is, and how untrue it is in so many cases. And I realize that's not fair, which is why I do that reminding of myself.

On the other hand, the only thing that makes those reminders convincing to me is remembering all those who have vividly demonstrated by their words and actions what Christianity can be when practiced by people who are paying attention to its actual message. Those people range from Louisa May Alcott, from the time I was 9, on through some coworkers to people like you or kiwiria online.

[dichroic.livejournal.com]

Incidentally, you talk about the benefits of convincing people to accept Jesus, as is natural, but I do want to make the point that there are other benefits to speaking of your faith in respectful ways. Even among those whom will never convert (and I'd count myself in that group, probably) you foster a peaceful and mutually respectful coexistence. I believe that adds to the goodness in the world from any perspective; even just from the perspective of winning souls it has the benefit that the more that environment spreads, the more Christians can practice their faith openly without persecution (in extreme cases) or fear of derision.

[rj-anderson.livejournal.com]

the bullies seem more numerous because they're so much louder and more annoying, and that applies in politics and other public circumstances even more than private conversations.

Alas, yes. And as so often happens, it's the bullies who have the most power -- because they're the ones who grab it. But proportionally speaking, I think that Christians in North America are more likely not to speak up about their faith (sometimes even when they should) than to be aggressive about it; if every Christian or even most Christians were out there "witnessing" with a megaphone, we'd all go deaf.

Thanks for your kind words, in spite of the obnoxious behavior you've experienced from Christians in the past. I really respect the fact that you do try to keep giving us the benefit of the doubt even when it's difficult, instead of just giving up altogether. And I'm glad that some Christians you've met, at least, haven't fallen into the negative category.

[npkedit.livejournal.com]

I don't know. I read the article. I'm Jewish, very religious, and I find the idea that someone is praying for my conversion to a religion whose tenets are antithetical to my own beliefs somewhat offensive. And I think Jews tend to bristle more than most because our faith is decidedly not pro-conversion (you are supposed to go out of your way to show converts just exactly how difficult Judaism is).

I do agree with you, however, that it's utterly unacceptable for any religion to impose legal standards arising from those beliefs on other faiths.

[rj-anderson.livejournal.com]

the idea that someone is praying for my conversion to a religion whose tenets are antithetical to my own beliefs

I think I can guess what you mean (though please correct me if I'm wrong). I know there are parts of organized Christendom that blame the Jews for the death of Jesus, and teach that God has rejected them as His Chosen People. They also try to claim the blessings and promises God gave to Israel and apply them to the predominantly gentile church. And because of these and similar teachings, the Jewish people have been horribly treated over the centuries by people claiming to believe the Bible and to be acting in the name of Jesus.

If that sort of thing is what you have in mind, I completely understand why you would find prayers for conversion offensive -- it's tantamount to asking a Jewish person to spit on their identity and their ancestral heritage, and submit to being a second-class citizen in a religion which blames them for the death of its leader. And in all honesty, I would never want to pray for any Jewish person to believe in Jesus as Messiah if I thought that was the case.

However, I don't believe that this kind of anti-semitic teaching has anything to do with the message that Jesus, a Jew by birth, and the New Testament writers, also all Jews, came to preach. Would you be interested in a (brief) explanation of why I as a Christian respect the Jewish people and pray for the peace of Jerusalem, or would you rather just let it drop? I don't want to make myself obnoxious, so I'll leave it up to you.

[owl]

All I have to say here is WORD.

[rj-anderson.livejournal.com]

Thank you -- and what a lovely icon!

[owl]

Thanks. It's snaggabe if you'd like it, I made it myself. That's one of my favourite verses.

[my_daroga]

Thank you for saying this. You provide an example to those of us who have been witnessed to, and who, because of the forceful nature of the un-Christlike "Christians," might be tempted to write off everyone else. I firmly believe that if more Christians followed Christ's teachings, we'd be better off than with the hatemongers who do their business in the name of something they're not truly honoring. No true conversion can ever be coerced, and I can't imagine why anyone would believe otherwise.

For my part, I will attempt to be more understanding and less reactionary in my thinking about religion. While I don't buttonhole people to tell them what/why not to believe, I am guilty of negative thoughts sometimes about religion in general, and that's no more helpful than militant conversionists. Rational people of any faith or non-faith are not, I truly believe, contributing to evil in the world; we all need to keep an open mind about how we choose to live our lives.

[rj-anderson.livejournal.com]

Well and thoughtfully said, and much appreciated. Thank you.

[ladylavinia.livejournal.com]

Actually, not only do I have a problem with religious people attempting to enforce their beliefs upon others, I also have a problem with non religious people doing the same.

For me, the problem is not whether one has faith or not. The problem is that humans have a tendency to attempt to inflict their will upon others. And this is something we need to identify in ourselves and overcome.