I just found the perfect birthday gift for my kids...

...I wonder if it's still on sale for this special low price? And after that, maybe I'll buy one of these here revolvers, just to make sure my kids are playing safe.

On the other hand, I would far rather shop from the 1946 Sears Catalogue than buy any of the muddy-colored, shapeless, cheap-looking clothes they're trying to foist upon us this year.

Why, yes, I am totally procrastinating, why do you ask?