rj_anderson: (Paul - O Rly?)
rj_anderson ([personal profile] rj_anderson) wrote2006-12-25 11:15 am

They didn't tell me how to deal with this in Bible school

Gather round, my children, while I tell you a heartwarming Christmas tale of sibling rivalry and threats of violence.

This year my two oldest sons, aged six and four, were assigned roles in our church's Christmas play. Nicholas, who is obsessed with all things farm-related, was enormously proud to be chosen as a shepherd -- or as he put it, a "sheep farmer". Simon, on the other hand, was asked to play the boy Jesus (in the scene with the Wise Men), and was less than enthusiastic about having to be on stage at all.

However, Simon did eventually warm to his role, since I heard this exchange on the morning of the pageant:

SIMON: I'm Jesus! I have all the power!

NICHOLAS: No, sheep farmers are more powerful!

SIMON: But Jesus can do anything, so I'm more powerful than a sheep farmer!

NICHOLAS: Well, I'm going to say, "Hey there, Miracle Boy," and come over and kick you in the butt!

ME: *chokes and sporfles*

SIMON: Then I'm going to send you to the Lake of Fire!

ME: *shoots Rice Krispies out her nose*

My only consolation is that at no point during the play were Nicholas and Simon on stage at the same time, so neither the threat of bodily harm nor that of everlasting punishment could be carried out in front of the entire church audience. However, Simon did manage to look entirely bored, complete with mouth-covering yawns, when the Wise Men were presenting their gifts. "Oh, myrrh, is it? And some of that... uh, frankincense stuff? How droll. Mother, how about you just toss it over in the corner with the gold."

I can only imagine how much more interesting things will become when our youngest, Paul, gets added to the mix.

[identity profile] risti.livejournal.com 2006-12-25 05:46 pm (UTC)(link)
ROFL! I must share this exchange from the two sons (5 + 7) of a friend of mine...

"Guess what, I get to be Joseph!"

"Ha ha, you're going to be married."

"I'm not going to be Mary, I'm going to be Joseph"

"Yeah, but you're going to be married."

"Am not!"

"Are two"

After awhile, their mother steps in and explains things.

"EWWWWWWWWW! I'm going to be married?????"

[identity profile] izhilzha.livejournal.com 2006-12-25 06:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Aw! Little kids are hysterically funny at times. I miss my smaller siblings. (Lake of Fire...wow. HEE.)

Thank you for sharing. :-)

[identity profile] honorh.livejournal.com 2006-12-25 06:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Dyin' here! I'm quite certain the boy Jesus never threatened to send anyone to the Lake of Fire. I'd have been shooting Rice Krispies out of my nose, too. Hee!

Merry Christmas!

[identity profile] katinka31.livejournal.com 2006-12-25 06:37 pm (UTC)(link)
SIMON: Then I'm going to send you to the Lake of Fire! ;aslkja;slkdfj;alskdjf;laskdjf;alksdfj;laskdjf;alksdf Ickle!Fanboys are so cute. :D
ext_6531: (Default)

[identity profile] lizbee.livejournal.com 2006-12-25 10:00 pm (UTC)(link)
At least Simon didn't let fame go to his head...

[identity profile] sunsethill.livejournal.com 2006-12-25 10:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Your children are incredibly precocious. And from his pictures, I expect Paul to be a sweet-tempered mediator for his more fiery brothers--but then I've never been known to be a prophetess. ;-)

[identity profile] camillofan.livejournal.com 2006-12-26 04:29 am (UTC)(link)
Sounds like a tale from one of those apocryphal gospels!

(Anonymous) 2006-12-26 02:23 pm (UTC)(link)
You mean you didnd't deal in Bible school with Cain and Abel, Jacob and Esau, or Joseph and his brothers??

[identity profile] --kali--.livejournal.com 2006-12-26 08:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank goodness they weren't together at any point. (Although it would have been the funniest nativity play ever)
infiniteviking: A bird with wings raised in excitement. (6)

[personal profile] infiniteviking 2006-12-26 09:54 pm (UTC)(link)
AHAHAHA. From the mouths of babes, eh? So utterly cute.

[identity profile] reveilles.livejournal.com 2006-12-29 01:51 am (UTC)(link)
LOL!

[identity profile] carbonelle.livejournal.com 2007-01-08 08:01 am (UTC)(link)
I love these stories!

I'm back again, and hoping to catch up.