This is a beautiful (and timely, for me to read) post. Thank you for writing it.
I'll admit that I'm guilty of doing the "my heart is breaking about something; but thank God for all of these other blessings and all of the goodness in my life!" thing. For me, personally, that's less feeling like grief is sinful or bad or something I shouldn't be doing (especially when everyone and their uncle seems to be telling me I should), and more about trying to keep myself out of the abyss and to remind myself that God does love me. Because it's easy, when bad things happen, to go to a "Why does God hate me? Why is God doing this to me? Why are God's decisions unfair?" place.
I think some of this attitude has to do with submission and surrender, too. In a way, grief can seem like you're fighting something bad that has happened to you--with denial, with anger, with intense sorrow and not wanting it to be true. When something truly horrible happens, it's natural to hate that it happened, I think. And I guess trying to move past the ugly stages of it quickly and get to acceptance sometimes seems like the "correct" thing to do--to submit, and accept, and trust that God is right. Though truly doing so is extraordinarily hard, and maybe even impossible if you don't properly grieve.
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I'll admit that I'm guilty of doing the "my heart is breaking about something; but thank God for all of these other blessings and all of the goodness in my life!" thing. For me, personally, that's less feeling like grief is sinful or bad or something I shouldn't be doing (especially when everyone and their uncle seems to be telling me I should), and more about trying to keep myself out of the abyss and to remind myself that God does love me. Because it's easy, when bad things happen, to go to a "Why does God hate me? Why is God doing this to me? Why are God's decisions unfair?" place.
I think some of this attitude has to do with submission and surrender, too. In a way, grief can seem like you're fighting something bad that has happened to you--with denial, with anger, with intense sorrow and not wanting it to be true. When something truly horrible happens, it's natural to hate that it happened, I think. And I guess trying to move past the ugly stages of it quickly and get to acceptance sometimes seems like the "correct" thing to do--to submit, and accept, and trust that God is right. Though truly doing so is extraordinarily hard, and maybe even impossible if you don't properly grieve.