Well, I know I've heard other people make this particular oversimplification, so you are in good company, at least. :) I would think that the so-called prosperity gospel relates to this topic mostly in the sense that Job's friends use it: if you're suffering, it must be for your sins; if you're in good with God, He'll surely treat you well.

More pastors should preach the book of Job. It might help.

I do think there's more to it than just this, that the fear about grief and faith being incompatible goes deeper than that. I'm not sure why, and am thinking about it.

I will add that very few people can separate out the need to not "complain" and realizing when they're in a situation where grief and struggle are okay. Example: I've been out of work for a year and a half. I've gotten from others and from myself that this is really not such a bad thing, and that I should be grateful for what I have rather than distressed in spirit, begging God to do something for me, telling Him what a horrible place in life I'm at. It's not really the prosperity gospel, per se, it's more a sense that if I'm right with God, surely I should be able to handle with grace anything that life throws at me, rather than wearing down and finding myself unable to completely cope.

But that's not what's been happening. Not to make light of God's provision, but most of the time it has felt like He's not bothering to give me even the basic emotional support that I need to continue in His grace. And that's something I am not comfortable telling people very often; because that sounds like I've stopped trusting Him.

Tangent, I realize. But RJ's post is very truthful, and I wanted to drop this in.