Got this e-mail yesterday from my brother, about a close mutual friend who is also his business partner:
J. has grown tired of the endless stream of scam / tele-marketers who call.

Last week he got a Bell guy from India (wasn’t REALLY Bell, just scammers) who were going to give him free smart-phones in exchange for his credit card info. Instead of hanging up, he told them he was VERY interested but he was tired of always changing his existing cell phone’s battery and so he was going to hold out for the new ‘reactor-based’ phones. So he needed to know if the phones they were offering him were indeed the new reactor-based model. The sheer number of follow up calls from managers and co-conspirators seeking to close the deal was impressive and amusing. At least we wasted as much time of theirs as they did of ours.

This week it’s a free cruise for the family. J. said his family consisted of a total of 15. They – to their credit – replied that he could only pick his favourite four... The plot thickens.

This place is fun sometimes.

*snickers*
It is possible that there is something more entertaining on the Internet today than the Muppets performing their own skewed take on "Bohemian Rhapsody", but somehow I doubt it.



I am going to be grinning idiotically about this all day. Thanks to Jeffrey Overstreet for the tip. And for more Muppety video goodness, check out [livejournal.com profile] shoebox2's recent post.
I am speechless with glee over this.



Thanks to Hardcore Nerdity for bringing this bit of genius to my attention.

ETA: And while we're bringing the 80's TV & classic SF mashup love, how about this one:


No Dawkins Bus
Originally uploaded by rj-anderson
For [livejournal.com profile] lizbee and all my fellow Old Skool Doctor Who fans. Because Greg Gick sent me the idea in e-mail, and [livejournal.com profile] tree_and_leaf had the link to the bus slogan generator, and, well, obviously some things just have to be done.
If my Facebook news feed was half as much fun as Austenbook I would spend a great deal more time over there.

Hee.
Dear heavens, [livejournal.com profile] lizbee and [livejournal.com profile] kerravonsen (among others), why did you not warn me that AUSTRALIA WANTS TO KILL US ALL???

Coming from a province which has only one poisonous snake to its name and that one's an endangered species, I find that whole thread deeply disturbing. (Well, and also funny, especially the YouTube videos. But still.)

Thanks to Weaves for the tip.
In conversation with my seven-year-old tonight:
HIM: It's weird how in all those old TV shows like Knight Rider and Starsky and Hutch and a third one I saw, I can't remember...

ME (guessing): The Six Million Dollar Man?

HIM: No, not that one so much. But the other ones. They always have, like, people lying around drinking apple juice and wearing zucchinis.

ME: O_o

HIM: I don't know why.

ME: ...

I think you mean bikinis.

HIM: Oh!

ME: (falls over laughing)
I don't know about anyone else, but I'm totally going to call them "zucchinis" from now on.
This afternoon I was chatting with the [livejournal.com profile] debut2009 crowd when I thought I heard my husband calling me, so I got up and went to the kitchen to see what was up.

Husband: What? I was talking to Nicholas. [pretending to be affronted] It's not all about you!

Me: Heh. No, I just thought you were calling me. Never mind.

Him: [loftily] For nigh on ten years now, you have purported the fallacy that I dance around your big toe.

Me: O_o ... *sporfle*

I must say, my husband has a very special relationship with the English language.

* "Impenetrability! That's what I say!"
Oh. My. Word.

The Phoenix Requiem (which is a wonderful web comic you should all be reading, and if you haven't read Inverloch, which is now complete, you should read that too) has the best. April Fool's joke. Ever. And I TOTALLY did not see it coming.

Get it quick, before it's gone! Although it's much funnier in the whole context of the story... so if you want the full effect, start from Page One.
As the originator points out in comments, this is not a Photoshop Disaster as advertised, but a genuine Original Art Disaster -- which if you ask me makes it even better:

Princess Three-Hands and the Nuzzling Knight*

If any of the other debut authors on my f-list are fretting about what their covers might look like, take comfort: they cannot possibly be this bad. And, if you are [livejournal.com profile] carrie_ryan, they might possibly be this good. Excuse me while I ENVY. (Plus, awesome book title.)

And speaking of titles, my editor and I are trying to come up with one for Knife and its sequel, currently entitled Wayfarer. Most of all we need a series title that can link the two books and is properly descriptive of both. So there is brainstorming happening on all fronts, but no magical solutions as yet. So far I think the best suggestion has come from my husband -- Faery Secrets -- but I wonder if that's too passive-sounding. What do you think? And to those of you who know something of what Knife is about, any suggestions?

ETA: As [livejournal.com profile] yahtzee63 pointed out in comments, this artistic disaster turned out to be a fantastic promotional opportunity for the author. Heh.

--
* Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] snowrabbitses for the link.
It took me a couple of seconds to get the joke (which shows how slow I am), but this crossover in comic form is genius.

Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] zakhad for the link.
It occurs to me that I never posted about the eye-poppingly dreadful sign I saw outside a church here in town a few weeks ago:

SNAP
     CRACKLE
               POP
THE TRINITY
Sunday at 11:00


Oh, yeah, I can see serious theologians lining up at the door for that one.

***

More recently I came across this one, outside a local farm:

KITTEN     SQUASH

And here I thought paintball was violent.

***

But my favorite hilarious sign incident happened at the end of this summer, when [livejournal.com profile] avarill was visiting. We made a trip into Mennonite country to look at furniture and do some geocaching, and by the time we approached our destination, we were all hungry. At which point the following conversation took place:

HUSBAND: Look for somewhere we can stop. I can't believe there aren't any restaurants around here.

ME: [reading off a sign by the roadside] Tomatoes... sweet corn... quilts... schnoodle pups.

H.: Schnoodle pups! Those sound pretty tasty. I could go for one of those.

ME: ...

[livejournal.com profile] avarill: ...

H.: What?

ME: Er, I think those are actually, y'know, puppies. Schnauzer, poodle... schnoodle.

H.: ...

ME and [livejournal.com profile] avarill: *bust up laughing*

The sad thing is, they do sound like they ought to be some kind of tasty deep-fried treat.
This thread is the best HP-related thing I have seen in days. And yes, that includes both the OotP trailers.

[livejournal.com profile] sydpad + [livejournal.com profile] twirlynoodle = genius.
...I wonder if it's still on sale for this special low price? And after that, maybe I'll buy one of these here revolvers, just to make sure my kids are playing safe.

On the other hand, I would far rather shop from the 1946 Sears Catalogue than buy any of the muddy-colored, shapeless, cheap-looking clothes they're trying to foist upon us this year.

Why, yes, I am totally procrastinating, why do you ask?
I do not personally know any of the people involved, but Linda posted this video and it was so brilliant I just had to pass it on.

Proof that Wii Golf is Hilarious

That has to be the most infectious laugh ever. And yes, I have seen the one with the quintuplets (quadruplets, whatever).
Trust us. This milk will change your life.

Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] thefish30 for the tip-off, and several minutes of hilarious reading.
Rowan Atkinson shows Hugh Laurie's Shakespeare how it's done:



Sheer genius.
Six-year-old Nicholas, whose friends are mostly a year or two older than he is, came home the other day with a small collection of Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh cards. He has no idea how to play either game, but he's quite proud of them.

He has a hard time remembering that the cards are from two different games, though, or recalling the title of either game properly...

So he refers to them all as "Pinocchio Cards".
Gacked from [livejournal.com profile] carbonelle:

A short film for [livejournal.com profile] lizbee and all the other heroic librarians on my f-list, with love and appreciation.

"I said, D.H. Lawrence! Now!"
Fandom turns up in the oddest places. The Thinklings blog has a LOST thread, and I was too weak to resist, so I read the comments and laughed until my sides hurt. Now you must share my pain. Courtesy of a commenter named De:

"Jack [Shephard] is on the short list of folks I would follow into Mordor"

Well, I’m not sure you would have made it "into Mordor". My guess is between his frantic yelling on the fringes of the Emin Muil (bringing every orc in the district down on him) and his cocky, dismissive ways with Sam and Gollum, the half-life of the Fellowship of the Ring would have been about 20 minutes.

[...]

"He also said that he would follow Jack Bauer not only into Mordor but straight up to Sauron, because Jack would probably torture him."

Jack Bauer would have killed Sauron with his thighs.

Then he would have melted the ring by staring at it.

*snickers*

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